Just looking through my website referrer links and I found that a link to my site was posted here.....

http://community.livejournal.com/whatposessedyou/?skip=120

....and looked at yesterday.

I can't see the post, maybe it's private or has moved as new entries have been added, either way I can't be arsed trying to find it to have a nose.

OMG!!!! I've just been to (semi) set up for the tattoo convention tomorrow and my stall looks so tiny and totally diy. I'm scared!

I have come to the conclusion that the universe really doesn't want me to be employed. Which I don't really mind but having enough money to live is a big issue. Recently I have been using all of my spare time making dreads, clothes, masks and such to stick on ebay or my website in the hopes that someone will buy something.

I'm designing a few things for shoots too. I'm hoping to do a shoot of my own involving a few friends in a couple of weeks which should be fun and I'm also expecting photos from the gorgeous Natalie Addams. I was so happy when she expressed interest in working with me as I love her images. I sent her a vitamin drip necklace (which I have sent to other models in the past but I've never received images from them - grr!) with a matching mask and a camo/medical outfit, which I can't wait to see actually on someone!

Next week is Stu's annual Good Friday bbq. Which I hope the weather improves for (it's been pissing down for days now) as we haven't had one yet without sun. It the only day really that I don't worry about something. A break from working will be much appreciated. Then on Easter Sunday I have to attend Stu's parents' 40th wedding anniversary 'event'. Urgh. I am sometimes made to feel that I don't belong in that family, like I'm not good enough. I'm not looking forward to it, at all.

Well, back to work I suppose.

This morning I walked into work and was promptly told that I was fired. The practice wasn't making enough money to keep everybody on, apparently.....

There's a girl on maternity leave who is covered by law for job security, so she couldn't go, which is understandable. However, she is only coming back part time - couldn't my hours be cut down to part time to make a job share?

So, the lay off was between myself and 2 other girls who had also been there less than a year. I was not the last one hired, in fact, the last one hired was only temporary to begin with, she was made permenant after a few weeks. I was chosen to get the boot because I had been off sick. Mind you, my sicknesses were covered with doctors notes and the sicknesses themselves were a result of my job.

- Having a reaction to my first Hepatitis injection.

- Developing a respiratory infection (which made my neck swell and my ear bleed) due to being sent out in the rain for an hour to go run errands.

Another girl is actually leaving the practice in August. She said she couldn't understand why I was sacked as she IS leaving later in the year.

I was told that there has never been any complaints made against me and that I work very well BUT I have 2 weeks in my job left and that if the opportunity arises some time in the future that I am welcome to apply for a job again. WTF?

I felt devastated, humilated and used. I was in tears and had to come home. I've only just stopped crying. Now I'm fucking pissed off.

I also enrolled in the college course last night and bought a book to help me with it. If my boss knew that he was going to screw me over why didn't he tell me last night and save me the humilation and expense?

I'm totally sick of my life. Fuck it, just fuck it.

I have been busy. Busy recovering from injuries (non serious), busy from repairing the house from flood damge, busy with Suicide Dreams. I hardly have time for myself these days and I still can't cut it financially. I had a breakdown a couple of weeks back from being unemployable. It's suprising how depressed you can actually get when you can't find a job. I'm now at the point where I'm lauging it off.

Apparently I do not have the required dumbass personality to get by in the "real" world. One company told me that I would have to go through a role play interview to see if I could "fake a personality". Fuck that. They wanted me to be like "Hey, how are you? How's the weather where you are?" over the phone even though I really don't give a shit. I hate that flirty, fake nice, ass kissing telephone manner. It's just like my last job. I won't whore myself for your shitty company. Why can't I just be accepted for the way I am?

Enough bitching.

I hope to be releasing several new fashion lines for Suicide Dreams soon. I have loads of ideas and I'm going to arrange a shoot with my friend Edd (who took the above photo) as soon as I can whip up some outfits. Much fun :)